Conor: Life After Kenzie’s death - Grief and Perspective
In this episode, Conor shares how grief changed from something he didn’t quite understand as a child to something he now accepts as part of his life. He talks about the ways Kenzie shaped him, how he’s learned to navigate conversations about her death, and why, even on the hardest days, he reminds himself to take things one step at a time.
This episode is part of The Grief Podcast, brought to you by Kenzie’s Gift and funded by SkyCity Auckland Community Trust. Kenzie’s Gift exists because of Conor’s mum, Nic Russell, who founded the charity after Kenzie died of cancer at age three. Nic saw firsthand how little support there was for grieving children and their whānau, and she made it her mission to change that. This podcast is here to bring real kōrero about grief into the open—so no young Kiwi has to feel alone.
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Introduction
Welcome to the Kenzie’s Gift Grief Podcast, where we explore genuine, open discussions about what it’s like when someone in your life dies—and how we manage the complex emotions that follow. Kenzie’s Gift is a New Zealand charity supporting young people (under 24) affected by the death of a parent or sibling. In this episode, host Sasha chats with Conor—whose sister Kenzie died at age 3, when he was just 5—about navigating loss from a young age and how grief can evolve over time.
Episode Overview
Guest: Conor, age 24, soon to graduate with an Economics degree.
Key Topics:
Childhood grief when a sibling dies
Changing ways we handle loss over time
Creative outlets like tattoos
Embracing memories, both joyful and challenging
Below is the lightly formatted transcript for a clear, engaging blog post.
Podcast Transcript
Introduction & Sponsor Acknowledgment
Nick (Founder of Kenzie’s Gift)
Kia ora everyone, I’m Nick, founder of Kenzie’s Gift. Welcome to the grief podcast, brought to you by Kenzie’s Gift—helping young Kiwis who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling.
We don’t avoid talking about death here. It’s hard, it’s real, and it changes everything. This podcast is a place for honest conversations about what it’s like when someone in your life dies, how grief shows up, and what comes next.
A huge thank-you to SkyCity Auckland Community Trust for funding this podcast and making these conversations possible.
Sasha (Host)
I’m Sasha, your host. When I was 17 my mum died of breast cancer, turning my life upside down. Kenzie’s Gift helped me, and now I’m talking with other rangatahi who’ve had a loved one die. Some days grief hits hard, other days you feel nothing. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with it. But one thing we know: talking about grief can make it feel less lonely.
In this episode, I’m speaking with Conor, whose sister Kenzie died when he was only 5. Conor is now 24 and about to graduate uni with a degree in Economics. We discuss how grief evolves throughout life, and the many different ways people deal with it. Stay tuned!
Meeting Conor & Remembering Kenzie
Sasha
Conor, welcome to the podcast! It’s great to have you here.
Conor
Thank you—glad to be here. It’s always good to talk about these things.
Sasha
What makes your story extra special is that you’re Kenzie’s brother. For anyone new to our podcast, Kenzie is the inspiration behind Kenzie’s Gift. She died at age three, and you were only five. I’d love it if you could share a bit about your dynamic together.
Conor
For me, it’s always strange because I have only a few memories, but they’re all good. I recall Rainbow’s End, running around Motutapu, things like that. She was energetic and fiery, while I’ve always been super laid-back. I’d happily go with the flow while she wanted everything her way.
Grief as a Child
Sasha
You were five when Kenzie died. How do you think your grief changed from then to now?
Conor
Early on, I didn’t fully understand. I was sad, but as a child, I mostly lived in the moment. As I got older, the weight of it hit me more. I realized what I’d lost. Over time, I came to see it as: yes, it’s sad, but she had a life with good memories. That perspective helps me.
Day-to-Day Grief & Moving Forward
Sasha
How does grief show up for you now, and how do you handle it?
Conor
Some days, you feel like a wet blanket—you don’t want to get out of bed. I break it down into small tasks: brush my teeth, then shower, then see if I can do a bit more. I remind myself it won’t always feel like this tomorrow. I’ve spent years processing it, so one step at a time works for me.
Memories of Kenzie
Sasha
We see photos of Kenzie, often smiling. Which photo feels most like her to you?
Conor
There’s one where she’s in front of me on a white vehicle (I had a Kenner), both of us smiling ear to ear. That’s the image that sticks in my head. She was always happy, especially if we were doing something adventurous.
Being a Sibling Without a Living Sibling
Sasha
You’ve spent most of your life without a sister here. How have you navigated that?
Conor
For a long time, I’d just say I was an only child—it was easier than explaining the story and dealing with people’s sympathy. But over the years, I’ve gotten more open about it. I’m okay with telling people, “Yes, I had a sister who died.” I don’t need people to feel sorry for me; I’ve made peace with it.
Talking About Kenzie
Sasha
Does bringing up Kenzie’s name trigger grief or is it comfortable by now?
Conor
I hear it all the time—Kenzie’s Gift is everywhere in my daily life. So I’m used to it. What hits me more is seeing the charity name pop up out in public unexpectedly, like in a donation box. That reminds me how far-reaching it is, and that part makes me happy.
Connecting with Others Through Grief
Sasha
I’ve seen you involved in Kenzie’s Gift events, like 7 Sharp interviews and the Dear Grief campaign. How was that?
Conor
Those campaigns were awesome because I got to see how many people connected with Kenzie’s Gift. Meeting people who’ve been helped by it is powerful. Seeing them light up again, get some confidence back—that’s what really shows how valuable it is.
Honouring Loved Ones Through Tattoos
Sasha
We both have memorial tattoos. Can you share what you got for Kenzie?
Conor
Sure! My piece has a little cupid figure (like the charity’s logo) and a guardian angel. I wanted that visible representation, right on my side. It’s always with me. The process was part of me becoming more open about having a sister who died.
Special Memories: Kenzie’s Last Birthday
Sasha
Any final memories or stories you’d like to share?
Conor
Her last birthday stands out. Mum got her a big pink dollhouse, which we still have. It was a day of smiles—just a big party with cake and toys. Even though she was sick, we treated it like any other kid’s birthday. That memory was bittersweet at first, but now I just see it as a really good day we had together.
Concluding Thoughts
Sasha
Thank you so much for being here and sharing Kenzie’s story. You’ve been open, honest, and I know other listeners who’ve lost a sibling will find comfort in what you’ve said.
Conor
I’m happy to help. My mum does amazing work with Kenzie’s Gift, and so do many others involved. If sharing a bit of my story helps someone else, I’m all for it.
Closing & Support Resources
Sasha
Grief is tough, and you don’t have to do it alone. If this episode brought anything up for you, talk to someone you trust—friends, whānau, or a professional.
New Zealand Support
Kenzie’s Gift offers one-on-one therapy for people under 24. You can also find support kits and resources at kenziesgift.com.
Outside New Zealand
Check in with your local support services, GP, or a school counselor.
If you need urgent help, please contact emergency services.
