Guy: Grieving Mum and Wednesday—Introspection and Moving Forward
In this episode, he shares how grief has shaped him—from childhood memories to adult reflection, from therapy to quiet moments of introspection. He talks about the love and happiness he remembers, how nature and adventure connect him to Wednesday, and how facing grief head-on has helped him move forward without leaving those he loves behind.
This episode is part of The Grief Podcast, brought to you by Kenzie’s Gift and funded by SkyCity Auckland Community Trust. Kenzie’s Gift was founded by Nic Russell, whose three-year-old daughter Kenzie died of cancer in 2005. Nic saw firsthand the lack of mental health support for grieving children and young people in Aotearoa, and she made it her mission to change that. This podcast is here to bring honest conversations about death and grief into the open—so young Kiwis don’t have to feel alone.
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Introduction
Welcome to the Kenzie’s Gift Grief Podcast, a place for open, honest conversations about the profound experience of losing someone you love. Kenzie’s Gift is a New Zealand charity that offers mental health support to young people (under 24) who have experienced a parent’s or sibling’s death. In this episode, host Sasha sits down with Guy—who lost his mum at age 7 and his girlfriend at 26—to discuss how introspection, therapy, and staying open to life’s waves of emotion have helped him navigate his grief.
Episode Overview
Guest: Guy, a 26-year-old civil engineer passionate about environmental and marine conservation.
Key Topics:
- Childhood grief from a parent’s death
- Coping with losing a partner
- Introspection, therapy, and meditation
- Recognising and labelling emotions
Below is the lightly formatted transcript.
Podcast Transcript
Opening & Sponsor Acknowledgment
Nic (Founder of Kenzie’s Gift)
Kia ora everyone. I’m Nic, founder of Kenzie’s Gift. Welcome to the grief podcast, brought to you by Kenzie’s Gift. We’re a New Zealand charity providing mental health support for young Kiwis who’ve experienced the death of a parent or sibling.
We don’t avoid talking about death here—it’s hard, it’s real, and it changes everything. This podcast is a space for honest conversations about what grief is really like.
A huge thank-you to SkyCity Auckland Community Trust for funding this podcast and helping make these discussions possible.
Sasha (Host)
I’m Sasha, your host. I lost my mum to breast cancer at 17. Kenzie’s Gift supported me, and now I’m talking with other rangatahi about how they’ve handled loss. Some days, grief hits like a wave; other days, you might feel numb. There’s no right or wrong way to go through it. But one thing we know: sharing our stories can help us feel less alone.
Today, I’m speaking with Guy, whose mum died when he was 7 and whose girlfriend died earlier this year at age 26. We’ll talk about how introspection and self-reflection have guided him through these challenging times. Stay tuned!
Guy’s Story: Two Profound Losses
Sasha
Guy, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here.
Guy
Thanks for having me—I’m really glad to share my story.
Sasha
Your experiences are unique in that you lost your mum at age 7 and then your girlfriend, Wednesday, just recently. Could you start by telling us about your loved ones?
Guy
Sure. My mum died of cancer when I was 7. I can’t recall too many specific memories from that time, but I distinctly remember feeling deeply loved by her. She was bubbly and always happy, even when she was sick.
Wednesday and I had been friends for about five or six years. We finally got together, and she was just so full of life—generous, joyful, passionate. She worked at the University of Auckland, helping students with research, and she cared about the environment. We loved diving together, exploring conservation projects, and tackling all kinds of adventures.
Favourite Memories & Adventures
Sasha
That’s beautiful to hear. Any favourite memories with Wednesday that really capture who she was?
Guy
There are so many. One time she found a free spa pool online. I remember thinking, “What do you mean, a free spa pool?” But she insisted we’d fix it up. We spent weekends hauling it back, making it work, and now it’s a fully functional spa at my place. She loved a good project and always had that can-do spirit.
Childhood Grief: When Parent dies
Sasha
You mentioned that losing your mum at 7 can be hard to fully remember. How has that experience shaped you?
Guy
It’s difficult to know what a “normal” childhood is like when that’s all I’ve known. I only have bits and pieces from that time, but I’ve come to understand how it influenced me. Therapy has helped me see deep-seated behaviours shaped by losing a parent so young, and I’ve had to go back to process some unaddressed emotions. It’s not easy work, but it’s necessary.
Therapy, Meditation & Self-Reflection
Sasha
You’ve mentioned therapy has been a crucial tool. How did it evolve for you over time?
Guy
I had therapy as a child, then again in my teens when my mental health started to dip. Over the years, I added journaling and meditation, leaning toward secular Buddhist practices. It’s basically sitting with your thoughts and emotions—really confronting them. I compare it to going to the gym. It can be challenging in the beginning, but over time, you build mental strength.
Revisiting Grief with Wednesday’s Death
Sasha
Then, earlier this year, you lost Wednesday. How did going through grief a second time feel?
Guy
It’s heartbreaking. Part of me thought, “I don’t have the energy to do this again.” But I recognized certain patterns—like anger, disbelief, denial—from when I lost my mum. That familiarity didn’t necessarily make it easier, but I did have more tools and self-awareness. I knew I had to face it head-on rather than bury it.
Overcoming Feelings of Blame
Sasha
Did Wednesday’s death bring up new or old feelings of guilt or blame?
Guy
Absolutely. At 7, I subconsciously believed I was somehow to blame for my mum’s death. As an adult, I know that’s not true, but the feelings are still rooted deep. With Wednesday’s passing, I felt like I was entrusted with something precious, and although I didn’t cause the accident, the “vase” was broken under my care. Therapy helps me acknowledge those subconscious thoughts and remind myself I’m not at fault.
Honouring Their Legacies
Sasha
Do you feel your mum and Wednesday would be proud of the person you’ve become?
Guy
Yes, 100%. I’ve been through a lot, but I wouldn’t change who I am now. They both were joyful, passionate people. I’m sure they’d be happy to see me doing meaningful work, volunteering in conservation, and keeping my own spirit alive.
Advice for Those Facing Grief
Sasha
For anyone listening, what would you want them to know about grief?
Guy
Acknowledge whatever you’re feeling in the moment. If you’re sad, notice it; if you’re feeling oddly okay one day, accept that too. Shift from “I am sad” to “I feel sad”—it’s a small language tweak, but it helps separate the emotion from your identity. Waves of grief will come when you least expect it, and that’s normal. Let yourself have those waves without judgment.
Wrapping Up
Sasha
Thank you for sharing your story, Guy. Hearing how you’ve navigated two separate losses with such insight and honesty is powerful.
Guy
Thanks for having me. It’s always tough to talk about, but I hope it helps others feel less alone.
Closing & Support Resources
Sasha
Grief is tough, and you don’t have to face it alone. If anything in this episode resonates with you or feels overwhelming, consider talking to someone you trust—a friend, whānau, or professional.
New Zealand Support
- Kenzie’s Gift provides one-on-one therapy for people under 24, plus resources and support kits at kenziesgift.com.
Outside New Zealand
- Check with your local support services, GP, or school counsellor.
- If you need urgent help, please contact emergency services.
Thanks for listening. Take care, and we’ll catch you next time.
