Zander was immediately admitted to hospital where the McCallums were given the worst possible news – his kidney cancer was too advanced to be treated. Doctors removed his kidney and worked to get his symptoms under control. When Zander came in, he had extremely high calcium levels – a condition called hypercalcaemia linked to advanced renal cancer. Tara explains that in an adult, Zander’s calcium levels would’ve caused aggression and discomfort.
Zander was given medicine to bring his calcium down, which then caused problems when the tumour was removed and calcium levels dropped. Only when his calcium stabilised were Tara and Matt allowed to bring Zander home. Once home on palliative care, the family focussed on making lots of memories with him. Zander passed away on New Year’s Eve that year, 2019, having just turned one. ‘He was a Christmas baby – born on the 23rd of December.’
The McCallums had a fourth son in 2022 – Koby, now two-and-a-half. Tara feels that Koby has helped everyone, especially his older brothers who’d really missed having a baby brother. ‘But they do ask, is this baby going to die too? It’s one of those things you don’t normally have to talk to a child about. We’ve always been very honest with them, and that’s helped them.’
Riley, now 10, received therapy from Kenzie’s Gift last year with Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist Simon Hall. Tara explains that they sought out support for Riley when they noticed he was often angry, and reluctant to talk about his brother – particularly in front of his parents. He seemed worried he might upset those around him.
‘In therapy, Riley had a safe space to talk about Zander and not worry that he was going to upset anyone… He still has his moments, but he’s not where he was last year. He’s a lot more confident and positive than he was.’
