Talking to Children and Young People About Terminal Illness – A Practical Guide
This guide is a starting point for talking to your tamariki (children) if you or someone they love has mate pukupuku (cancer), or other serious illness, that has come back, spread or is terminal.
When a child learns that a loved one is facing a terminal illness, it can be incredibly confusing and upsetting. Kenzie’s Gift understands how difficult this experience is for whānau, which is why we have created a comprehensive resource—a caregiver’s guide—to support parents, guardians, and other close family members. This resource helps you approach these tough conversations with honesty, empathy, and cultural awareness, giving tamariki (children) and mātātahi (young people) the space to ask questions, express emotions, and receive the reassurance they need.
Why This Resource Matters
Terminal illness affects not only the patient but also everyone who cares about them, especially children. They may struggle with uncertainty and fear, which can manifest in various ways—clinging to a parent, acting out at school, or having trouble sleeping. This Kenzie’s Gift guide offers practical strategies for helping tamariki work through these responses, reducing their sense of isolation. By learning to communicate openly, parents and caregivers foster a more supportive environment that allows children to express their worries without shame or confusion.
One of the unique features of this resource is its integration of te whare tapa whā, the Māori holistic model of health, which highlights the importance of taha tinana (physical wellbeing), taha hinengaro (mental wellbeing), taha wairua (spiritual wellbeing), and taha whānau (family wellbeing). This approach reminds us that emotional, cultural, and spiritual dimensions are just as vital as physical care when confronting the challenges of a terminal illness.
What’s Inside the Guide
Age-Appropriate Explanations
Children’s understanding of illness, death, and time varies greatly depending on their age. Our guide provides clear examples of the language you can use to explain what terminal illness means, whether you’re speaking to a preschooler or a teenager.
Tips for Difficult Conversations
Discussing end-of-life care, medical procedures, or the possibility of death is never easy. This guide shows how to balance openness with reassurance, helping parents decide how much detail to share and when to do it.
Practical Activities and Memory-Making Ideas
Suggestions for activities—such as creating memory boxes or sharing family stories—can help children process their emotions. These tangible expressions of love and connection create meaningful ways to honour the time left and keep special memories alive.
Support for Whānau Life
You’ll find insights into helping children maintain routines, stay connected with school, and communicate their concerns. By providing structure and predictability, families can keep a sense of normalcy, even in uncertain times.
Frequently Asked Questions
This section covers common questions children ask, like “Is it my fault?” or “What happens if you die too?” Each answer is framed to offer reassurance and clarity without overwhelming them.
Where to Get More Help
The guide lists additional services, including Kenzie’s Gift counselling, mental health organisations, and resources that families may find helpful if children are struggling to cope.
How This Guide Benefits Your Family
Reduces Anxiety
Having the right words and support can ease children’s fears, letting them know they are not alone.
Builds Emotional Resilience
Open communication fosters a safe space for tamariki to process grief, ask questions, and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Strengthens Whānau Bonds
By engaging in memory-making and culturally mindful practices, families can pull together in a time of crisis.
Encourages Informed Conversations
Guidance on when and how to share sensitive information helps ensure children aren’t left with misconceptions.
Ultimately, this guide empowers whānau with a plan for navigating the hardest conversations about terminal illness, while respecting each child’s emotional and developmental needs.
Get Your Copy – Support Your Tamariki Today
If you’re ready to provide compassionate, age-appropriate guidance for children facing a loved one’s terminal illness, download or order below from Kenzie’s Gift. You’ll gain immediate access to a wealth of information, tips, and practical tools designed to make difficult moments more manageable.
How to Order
- Choose a download or physical copy below—whichever works best for your situation.
- Contact our team if you have any questions or require additional support services, such as counselling or therapy sessions.
Remember, you don’t have to walk this path alone. Kenzie’s Gift is dedicated to supporting tamariki and young people through serious illness, grief, and loss. By embracing open, honest communication—and by making use of culturally sensitive tools like te whare tapa whā—you can ensure that children have the guidance and understanding they need during this challenging time.
Ready to take the first step? Order your copy of “Talking to Children and Young People About Terminal Illness” today and help create a more comforting, connected environment for your family.
The free kits are available to you if your tamariki and rangatahi are affected by serious illness or grief. We also have digital guides for parents/caregivers.
Join us online
