When a Child Is Dying – Support & Guidance for Parents and Caregivers
A guide that provides helpful information and insights for mātua / parents and caregivers and other whānau members who are preparing for the death of a taitamaiti / child.
The anticipation of the death of a child (taitamaiti) is one of the most heartbreaking experiences any family and whānau can face. As devastating as it may seem, having clear, compassionate resources can help you navigate the practical and emotional challenges of caring for a dying child. Kenzie’s Gift has created a comprehensive guide—“How to Prepare for the Death of a Child”—to provide parents, caregivers, and extended family with honest information, culturally sensitive strategies, and vital end-of-life support.
Why This Guide Matters
Age-Appropriate Communication
Children process illness and death differently depending on their stage of development. This guide offers tips for explaining terminal illness in ways that are honest but not overwhelming, whether you’re speaking to a preschooler who doesn’t grasp permanence or a teenager grappling with complex emotions.
Practical & Emotional Readiness
Knowing what to do—legally, medically, and emotionally—can make a profoundly difficult time feel less chaotic. The guide details how to prepare living spaces, manage day-to-day care, and make decisions about hospice or home-based palliative services.
Support for the Entire Whānau
Siblings often feel overlooked when a child is critically ill. “How to Prepare for the Death of a Child” outlines ways to involve siblings in important decisions while reassuring them that their own feelings matter. It also covers navigating feelings of guilt and helplessness that parents, grandparents, and other relatives may experience.
Post-Death Guidance
When the unimaginable happens, shock and grief can make even small tasks feel impossible. The guide gently walks you through the first hours and days after a child’s passing—covering everything from who to notify, to how to approach funeral or memorial planning, to coping with your own intense bereavement.
What’s Inside
Preparing Yourself
Facing a child’s end-of-life care can trigger intense waves of fear, sadness, and even disbelief. Learn practical tips for self-care and for asking friends, whānau, or community members for help with cooking, cleaning, and childcare. By accepting support, you can reserve more energy for comforting your dying child.
Communicating with a Dying Child
The guide explores ways to talk with a child about death—when to open the conversation, how much detail to provide, and language to avoid (like vague euphemisms). Drawing on te whare tapa whā (the Māori holistic model of health), the focus is on nurturing your child’s emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical needs in their remaining time.
Involving Siblings
Brothers and sisters can feel frightened, abandoned, or confused when all attention shifts to the ill child. The guide explains how to keep them in the loop about changes in the home, hospital visits, or palliative care decisions. Suggestions range from simple explanations of medical equipment to activities like shared storytelling, memory boxes, or quiet goodbyes.
The Last Days and Moments
Whether your child remains at home or in a hospital or hospice, this section covers comfort measures, potential signs that death is near, and how to ensure your family’s wishes are respected. You’ll find guidance on being fully present while honouring your child’s desire for privacy or rest.
After the Child Dies
From dealing with immediate tasks (e.g., contacting healthcare professionals or funeral directors) to planning tangihanga, funerals, or memorials, the guide clarifies legal and cultural considerations. It also addresses emotional realities—such as survivor guilt and coping strategies for devastating sorrow—so parents don’t face these decisions alone.
Download or Order “How to Prepare for the Death of a Child”
Ready for compassionate, step-by-step guidance? Order or download Kenzie’s Gift’s “How to Prepare for the Death of a Child” today. Whether you’re seeking reassurance, practical advice, or age-appropriate language for difficult conversations, this resource offers a supportive framework to help you, your whānau, and your child in the face of terminal illness.
How to Obtain Your Copy
- Select: Choose a digital or physical copy below based on your preference.
- Contact Us: Email hello@kenziesgift.com if you need additional information about free or low-cost counselling options, support kits, or grief-focused articles.
Additional Ways Kenzie’s Gift Can Help
Kenzie’s Gift provides ongoing services—such as therapy, support kits, and a range of online resources—for families managing serious illness and grief. Whether you need emotional support to cope with daily stressors or wish to connect with other parents who understand, our team is here to guide you at every step.
Don’t let fear and uncertainty overshadow the remaining precious time with your child. Download or order the “How to Prepare for the Death of a Child” guide and let Kenzie’s Gift walk alongside you, offering knowledge, empathy, and unwavering support during one of life’s most heart-wrenching journeys.
The free kits are available to you if your tamariki and rangatahi are affected by serious illness or grief. We also have digital guides for parents/caregivers.
Join us online
Kenzie's Gift is a registered charity under the Charities Act 2005 (CC21425)
